Education and some Parents’ support of their children

On Sunday my entire family had been invited for breakfast at his hotel by my eldest brother who was visiting Mumbai. During the course of breakfast my elder daughter asked me whether I knew what Vallari (the younger one) did in school, to which I replied in the negative. Then they asked her whether they should tell me what transpired, and Vallari was shaking her head in the negative. I told them if she does not want me to know, it’s OK as we had come for relaxing and I did not want the mood spoilt over forcing an issue. The moment I said that Vallari gave her permission to tell me what transpired in school. Guys, this is really interesting as it goes to show the approach of students as well as parents. This is the story as narrated to me by my wife and two daughters, Pallavi and Vallari.

The English teacher had given a project to the students some time in November on “kinds of sentences”. The teacher had formed groups of six students and named a leader in each group – and Vallari was the leader of her group. Of the other five students one was a good friend and the others were not classified as friends. As the group leader Vallari told the others to submit their assignments by February end. Except for her friend nobody bothered to submit their assignments. Last Friday the teacher told the students to submit their respective projects by March 17. Vallari in the meantime had repeatedly asked her remaining group mates to submit their assignments – they said they won’t submit and told her to do it herself. I have never seen Vallari stay awake beyond 10pm on school days – but I had noticed her sitting beyond mid-night on a couple of occasions. I had asked her what she was doing and she had replied that she was working on a school project. I thought that as usual she was probably doing it at the last moment (I was not surprised actually – I was like that too). She did not tell me that she was the team leader – nor did she mention that she was completing the project on her own due to the absurd non-participation of four of her group. By the first week of March she had completed her project by herself, but did not inform the other four. She again told them to submit their assignments (even though she had completed the project), giving them another chance to redeem themselves – but they flatly refused and told her to do it herself. Thereafter she did not ask them again.

On Friday when the teacher announced the March 17 deadline, she asked Vallari’s group if they had completed their assignment (all the other students had submitted their assignments). Vallari replied in the affirmative – the teacher asked Vallari to submit the project. Vallari submitted the project with a caveat – she put in a note naming the four girls who had not contributed anything. When the teacher saw the note she was very upset and asked the four girls why they did not contribute – they had no answer – they had probably assumed that Vallari would just put their names because they were part of the group! They must have got the shock of their lives – the teacher then told the students to do the assignment and submit the same by March 17.

I have no clue what these girls went and told their parents, because yesterday evening one of the girls mother spoke to my wife for more than an hour telling her to ask Vallari to withdraw her statement. This lady had the temerity to tell my wife what kind of values we are teaching our daughter, if she cannot perform in a team. Not only that – she said the project has been submitted hastily – the project was worth 50 marks – and now these delinquent girls were staring at a cipher! I told my wife not to waste her time talking to the mother as apparently she herself cannot figure out right from wrong, thus there is no way she would pass on such values to her children. My wife then told the mother to talk with the teacher for a solution. At that point I was very irritated and went near the telephone receiver and loudly told my wife to stop wasting her time trying to convince brain dead people. On hearing that, the other lady probably disconnected. It was almost 11 pm when my wife had her meal!

Today my wife visited the school and met the concerned teacher – who told her that she should not have entertained the call as the decision taker was the teacher and not Vallari’s mother.

We have always told our kids that the truth is important and if they are convinced about their stand they should stick to it no matter what. Have also told them no one is perfect and mistakes happen – it is important to realize that they have erred, apologize and ensure the same are not repeated. Simple facts which we were taught by our teachers and parents which we have passed on to our kids.

I am really proud that Vallari did what was right without telling any of us and then stood by what was right – good for your kiddo – keep it up.