Rash of suicides – is there a solution?
The number of suicides amongst the youth, students and working youngsters in the recent past is extremely disturbing to say the least. This just points to the pressure the youngsters face from parents, peers, teachers and society which just manages to send these guys over the edge.
Our system of education needs to be revamped and a grading system introduced as suggested by Aamir Khan in 3 Idiots. The ranking system is a caste system which just manages to shame sensitive students into thinking they are no good – when that may actually be far from reality! I have an elder brother for whom academics was a piece of cake – I was always compared to him during my school days. There were rewards for doing well in school for him and I used to get the wooden spoon . But that really did not bother me too much – as I had decided mentally that my elder brother was in a different class academically and there was no way I was even going to try and compete! In fact I was happy being average and ranking between 15 -20 in a class of 40 whereas my bro used to vie for the top 3 slots! I never had the problem of figuring out where I lost one or two marks in maths, physics etc. as I was least bothered in trying to figure out where I lost forty – fifty marks – I was always happy getting what I got.
Where I live, there was another boy (an only child) who was extremely good at academics and games – in fact he always used to be down playing. He was a perfectionist – anything new he tried was always practiced and perfected! A top ranker in school always – achieved effortlessly without compromising on other activities. During the SSC exams there was a paper leakage at the center where he wrote his papers, as a result the papers were examined a little more rigorously and he obtained 86%. He did not top the Board results as expected by his mother. A neighbor asked her for sweets on his SSC results as is the norm in India and the lady was rebuffed by the mother stating that her son had not got a rank – the son who was standing behind her overheard this – can you imagine the mental trauma he would have gone through. As parents we cannot afford to be so insensitive – most of the parents in India want their children to come top achievers because they want to vicariously achieve their ambitions through their child. This kind of burden should never be put on any child! During the HSC exams there was mass scale copying and re-exams were held and again this boy did brilliantly but did not get the marks to get into medicine in Mumbai. He was getting admission outside Mumbai but his parents did not permit him to go as he was an only child! This boy ended up doing B.Pharm, then BSc, then HSC Commerce – he became a complete psychological wreck – in complete denial, not speaking with anyone and crying if you tried to approach him. In short he became a complete recluse – by the time I completed my CA he was still doing B.Com – a potentially brilliant doctor who could not make it because of parents misplaced sense of protection. A career gone down the drain – today he is a book-keeper in book store.
What I am trying to get at is that the parents should ensure that the child has an absolutely normal up-bringing without putting additional pressure on his/her academics. The SSC/HSC results never dictate what life has to offer. I know so many people who have done BSc, Engineering, etc but end up in banks or doing finance. Many times you end up studying something which has absolutely no bearing with your employment in later life. That is where our academic curriculum needs to go a drastic change – our system encourages mugging instead of understanding – it’s a memory based system rather than an analytical one which can help one as one goes ahead in life.
The kids today should realize that taking one’s life is not a solution – specially when they have not experienced the joys of LIFE. The parents, teachers, peers should understand that each individual is made differently – comparing results, denigrating, insulting and being sarcastic after exam results will only help in eroding a child’s confidence and morale. One needs to understand and encourage children to do their best – give them good values in life and teach them that life is not a bed of roses and the real education is the one which one gets as one faces the trials and tribulations in life.
Our system of education needs to be revamped and a grading system introduced as suggested by Aamir Khan in 3 Idiots. The ranking system is a caste system which just manages to shame sensitive students into thinking they are no good – when that may actually be far from reality! I have an elder brother for whom academics was a piece of cake – I was always compared to him during my school days. There were rewards for doing well in school for him and I used to get the wooden spoon . But that really did not bother me too much – as I had decided mentally that my elder brother was in a different class academically and there was no way I was even going to try and compete! In fact I was happy being average and ranking between 15 -20 in a class of 40 whereas my bro used to vie for the top 3 slots! I never had the problem of figuring out where I lost one or two marks in maths, physics etc. as I was least bothered in trying to figure out where I lost forty – fifty marks – I was always happy getting what I got.
Where I live, there was another boy (an only child) who was extremely good at academics and games – in fact he always used to be down playing. He was a perfectionist – anything new he tried was always practiced and perfected! A top ranker in school always – achieved effortlessly without compromising on other activities. During the SSC exams there was a paper leakage at the center where he wrote his papers, as a result the papers were examined a little more rigorously and he obtained 86%. He did not top the Board results as expected by his mother. A neighbor asked her for sweets on his SSC results as is the norm in India and the lady was rebuffed by the mother stating that her son had not got a rank – the son who was standing behind her overheard this – can you imagine the mental trauma he would have gone through. As parents we cannot afford to be so insensitive – most of the parents in India want their children to come top achievers because they want to vicariously achieve their ambitions through their child. This kind of burden should never be put on any child! During the HSC exams there was mass scale copying and re-exams were held and again this boy did brilliantly but did not get the marks to get into medicine in Mumbai. He was getting admission outside Mumbai but his parents did not permit him to go as he was an only child! This boy ended up doing B.Pharm, then BSc, then HSC Commerce – he became a complete psychological wreck – in complete denial, not speaking with anyone and crying if you tried to approach him. In short he became a complete recluse – by the time I completed my CA he was still doing B.Com – a potentially brilliant doctor who could not make it because of parents misplaced sense of protection. A career gone down the drain – today he is a book-keeper in book store.
What I am trying to get at is that the parents should ensure that the child has an absolutely normal up-bringing without putting additional pressure on his/her academics. The SSC/HSC results never dictate what life has to offer. I know so many people who have done BSc, Engineering, etc but end up in banks or doing finance. Many times you end up studying something which has absolutely no bearing with your employment in later life. That is where our academic curriculum needs to go a drastic change – our system encourages mugging instead of understanding – it’s a memory based system rather than an analytical one which can help one as one goes ahead in life.
The kids today should realize that taking one’s life is not a solution – specially when they have not experienced the joys of LIFE. The parents, teachers, peers should understand that each individual is made differently – comparing results, denigrating, insulting and being sarcastic after exam results will only help in eroding a child’s confidence and morale. One needs to understand and encourage children to do their best – give them good values in life and teach them that life is not a bed of roses and the real education is the one which one gets as one faces the trials and tribulations in life.
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