Expectations Lead to Angst!

 

Expectations Lead to Angst!

As we go through life, we come across a whole lot of people - with some we have life long relations, with some the relations are temporary. But one thing is certain the closer the relationship greater the expectations from that relationship. People grow up expecting others to behave in a certain way – a way which they have pre-decided in their minds – that so and so should behave like this, so and so should behave like that. Whenever the behaviour is not as per the expectation set in the mind that causes disturbance - sometimes it disappoints us and many times it makes us angry!

Why does this happen? In personal relationships as opposed to work relationships we expect certain kind of behaviour from those near and dear to us. When those people behave the way, you expect them to – this may have been set from past such behaviour – then it is perfect, but if the behaviour is different and not to your liking then it is out of the comfort zone you are used to, this is what leads to angst and arguments! We never try to find out why the behaviour changed – we just lash out at the person which leads to either a major row or leaves the other person dazed enough for him to leave the battle field quietly! Have any of you experienced this?

How do we deal with it? It is very difficult to tackle irrational behaviour, specially when it is an outcome of high expectations which may be difficult to match. The only way to tackle anger from such expectations is – not to react. Any reaction will only worsen the situation. A calm, quiet response without any reaction usually diffuses the situation. This can happen when one is able to remain centred in one’s own being.

Meditation helps you in remaining centred and balanced. This helps you remain focused on the calm which prevails within you, so whatever is happening on the outside is like a movie you are watching – you just remain a witness to it and you do not become a participant. As a witness you do not join the argument but just watch it – when this happens, it does not affect you and you as well as the protagonist get over the situation and move on in life. A quiet response or a non-response is the best way to diffuse extreme reactions from failure of expectations. So, friends, meditation provides you solutions to varying adverse situations in life! So as Swamiji says – Meditate, meditate, meditate.