Real Friends

 

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Real Friends

One always wonders if their friends will stand by them in times of need! One never asks whether they are real friends with others, but always wonder whether their friends are real. The question you should ask yourself is – Am I a real friend to others? The proverb which defines friends is – a friend in need is a friend indeed. But in this highly competitive modern world it is more like – a friend in need is no friend of mine.

When one is looking for friendship, this comes from a desire deep within which in a way is greedy. That is not friendship, that is not love. You want to use the other person as a means, and no man is a means because every man is an end unto himself. So why are you worried about who is a real friend? The question one should ask – am I friendly to people?

When we make friends, we do so on the basis of trust and the feeling of trust by itself is such a joy and distrust is so painful, that you choose trust over distrust. Friendship is one relationship which is based on only pure love – no friend expects anything from you and neither should you expect anything from a friend – friends are meant to be a means to enjoy life and companionship without any strings attached.

One needs friends because one is afraid of being lonely and thus, one is incapable of being alone. And as long as one needs friends, one cannot become much of a friend, simply because your need makes the other person an object of your need! Only the person who is capable of being comfortable in his own solitude can become a real friend. And that is not his need, it is his joy. It is not his hunger or thirst, but his abundance of love that he wants to share with others.

When such a friendship exists, it is no longer friendship, because it has taken on an entirely new dimension – friendliness. It is now beyond any relationship as all such relations are nothing but bondages, they tie you down with expectations. Friendliness takes place without any conditions, without any expectations, with no desire that something should be returned, not even gratefulness.

This is real friendship – it is based on pure, selfless love; it is not a need, it is not a necessity – it is sheer abundance, ecstasy and joy. The day you befriend yourself, you will have made your first real friend – because unless you truly love yourself, you cannot love others.

Once you accept yourself as a real friend, a revolution takes place. You are now comfortable in your own aloneness and this becomes abundance, a fulfillment, an overflowing of love energy and joy. This overflowing of energy has great meaning, as this love comes straight from your very heart….real friends are just two bodies with one heart!