Comparison and Misery

 

Photo Credit: Everyday Power

Comparison and Misery

Most of us in our growing years and some of us even today are compared to others – “look at so and so, see how well he studies, plays, etc and look at you – you need to become like him/her.” I am sure most of us have faced such comments in our life – all this does is give us a kind of inferiority complex, which is very difficult to get rid of later in life.

We too begin comparing ourselves with others, we too try and become like someone whom we are not. That comparison always falls short, and we always end up feeling stressed out, we feel that we are failures. We are comparing our happiness to someone else’s happiness, someone else’s bliss – when we are so concerned about other people’s bliss and happiness how will we find time to transform our own selves?

Comparison always brings misery, and misery becomes a great hindrance for anything to happen to us. So, the first thing is: if it is happening to many people, drop the old habit of comparing and being jealous. On the contrary, make it a point that, “If it is happening to so many people, it is going to happen to me also. Because they are just like me.”

We are all human beings. Nobody is superior and nobody is inferior. If it is not happening to us, we must be creating barriers so it cannot happen. The first barrier is comparison. The second barrier is… we say, “I want to feel you again…” The moment we start desiring something, desperately longing for something, our very desiring and longing becomes a barrier.

It has happened before because we were in a totally different space. We were not desiring it; it happened in our innocence. Now we are no longer innocent — we are full of desire, full of wanting. And with desire and wanting there is comparison on the side, that, “It is happening to others.” So, we are creating misery around ourselves. There is no need to compare. We should rejoice that it is happening to so many people. They are also part of us. If it is happening to them, we should join the dance.

Rather than being in competition and hiding in a corner with tears because it is happening to everybody; everybody is dancing… who is preventing us? Join the dance! And if one wants to cry, let the tears be of joy that so many people are happy — even if one is not happy, then too, it is something to be rejoiced. Rejoice for others. And drop the idea that it should happen to us again. The moment we drop the idea, it will start happening because we are innocent again.

It is pointless destroying oneself unnecessarily because others are happy, because so much is happening to them, and we are tense because something has happened to us before and we want it to happen again. Something much more beautiful will happen to us if we can drop this tension and this desire and this competition.