Balance in the midst of Tragedy

 

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Balance in the midst of Tragedy

The day before yesterday we lost a very dear friend and relative to a sudden heart attack – a person so full of the joy of life, extremely loving son, brother, father, friend, mentor and boss – a person who made people laugh and had the ability to laugh at himself too! Too young to depart with so much yet left to do in life – a huge vacuum has been left which will be well-nigh impossible to fill.

We hear of such tragedies from other people, but when it hits our home, we truly realise the impact this can have on the psyche of those who are both directly and indirectly affected. The number of people who genuinely loved him and came to bade him their final goodbye was unbelievable, the number of youngsters who were broken-hearted and weeping uncontrollably was a testimony of him being a great boss and mentor at work. The family was trying its best to maintain composure in between tearful breakdowns as some new person came to offer their condolences!

The question always is how to maintain one’s composure in the midst of such a huge tragedy – how does one understand the snatching away of a life out of the blue? It is beyond comprehension and enforces the saying that death when it comes does so unannounced. No one teaches us to face such tragedies and I guess that is why life is said to be the best university to get one’s lessons!

Remembrance and affirmation center around the Truth that we are spiritual beings, living in a spiritual universe, governed by spiritual laws. As Teilhard de Chardin famously said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience,” and not the other way around. Our divine essence speaks to our inherent oneness with God and with each other and reminds us that the only limitations we have are the ones we choose to place upon ourselves. After accepting this, we need to understand how to cope with tragedy and help others also cope with theirs. There are three spiritual friends who are of great help – laughter, gratitude and balance.

We don’t laugh away our problems or make light of tragic situations. Rather we utilise the lightening effect that laughter brings in releasing tension and affirming our common humanity. Some subjects are too serious to be taken seriously, as they say. Laughing at ourselves and at the human condition in appropriate ways is healthy and opens us up to further investigation of what is really going on. It also inspires compassion.

Another friend is gratitude. No matter what, our messages and prayers affirm that there is so much to be thankful for in our lives. Being thankful for the good heartedness of the majority of humanity and for simple things like food on our tables are ways to connect us back to sanity and normalcy when we are so often confronted with life’s tragedies.

The spiritual path is like a razor’s edge. All speak to the gift of balance and centeredness, coming to a peace and an equanimity in the midst of extremes. The ability that balance gives us is our third spiritual friend. This balance comes from regular meditation and mindfulness practice – living life in the now and watching the good and the bad in life as a witness and not as a participant!