Knowing One’s Inner Progress
It is very simple. First, there are qualities
which grow as meditation deepens. For example, we start feeling loving for no
reason at all. Not the love that we know, that we ‘fall’ in - not falling in
love. But just a quality of lovingness, not only to human beings. As our
meditation deepens, our lovingness will start spreading beyond humanity to
animals, to trees, even to the rocks, to the mountains.
If we feel that something is left out of our love -
that means we are stuck. Our lovingness should spread to the whole of
existence. As our meditation goes higher, our lower qualities will start
dropping. We cannot manage both. We cannot be angry as easily as we have always
been. Slowly, slowly, it becomes impossible to be angry. We cannot deceive,
cheat, exploit, in any way. We cannot hurt. Our behaviour pattern changes with change
in our inner consciousness.
We will not fall into those sad moments that we
usually fall into - frustrations, failures, sadness, a feeling of meaninglessness,
anxieties, anguish; all these are slowly, slowly, going to become foreigners. A
moment comes when even if we want to be angry, we will find it impossible; we
have forgotten the language of anger. Laughter will become easier. Our face, our
eyes, will be aglow with some inner light. We will feel ourselves that we have
become light, as if gravitation does not function as it used to function
before. We have lost heaviness, because all these qualities are very heavy -
anger, sadness, frustration, cunningness. All these feelings are very heavy. We
don’t know, but they are making us heavy-hearted and they also make us hard.
As meditation grows, we will feel ourselves
becoming soft, vulnerable - just as laughter will become easy for us, tears will
also become easy for us. But these tears will not be of sadness or sorrow.
These tears will be of joy, blissfulness; these tears will be of gratitude, of
thankfulness. These tears will say what words cannot; these tears will be our
prayers.
So, if these things start happening, we can be
certain we are on the right path. And soon people of understanding, people of
experience, will start finding the changes in us. They will start asking us
what has happened to us, how it has happened to us. “We would also like it to
happen to us.” Who wants to be miserable? Who wants to remain continuously in
inner torture?
As our meditation deepens all these things will
happen: somebody will condemn us, somebody will think we are mad, somebody who
has some understanding will ask us, “What has happened to you and how can it
happen to me?” We remain balanced, rooted, grounded in our own being -
whatsoever happens around does not matter.
We have to become the centre of the cyclone. And we
will know when we have become the centre of the cyclone. There is no need to
ask, “How will we know?” How do we know when we have a headache? We simply know.
1 comment:
jai baba swami
how beautifully explained.
yes we started experiencing many of that
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