Seekers and Solitary
Existence
Since the beginning of time those who seek to know
their true self have moved into solitary existence in the mountains. Why do
such seekers move to the mountains and become solitaires? They do so to simply
face their inner mountains immediately and directly.
When one is in society it is difficult to do so
because one’s energy is wasted in day-to-day routine and work; one does not
find enough time and energy to encounter oneself simply because one’s time and
energy is burnt in encountering others! We are all so preoccupied and to come
face to face with oneself we need to have a very unoccupied life; because it is
such a tremendous phenomenon to face oneself. We will need all our energies.
Seekers have always moved into solitary existence,
just to face oneself. Wherever they go - just to face oneself; to make it
uncomplicated, because in a relationship it becomes complicated because the
other brings his or her miseries and mountains. We are already loaded - and
then comes the other! And then we clash, then things become more complex. Then
it is two diseases meeting, and a very complicated disease is created out of
it. Everything becomes entwined, it becomes a riddle. We are already a riddle —
it is better to solve it first and then move into a relationship,
because we can help others only when we ourselves are not a mountain.
We can help if we are unburdened; we cannot help
if we are not unburdened. One can become a husband, one can become a father, a
mother, and one will be burdening others with one’s burdens also. Even small
children carry our mountains; they are crushed under us - it has to be so
because we never bother to have a clarity about our being before becoming
related.
That must be the basic responsibility of every
alert being – “Before I move in any relationship I must be unburdened. I should
not carry a hangover; only then can I help the other to grow. Otherwise, I will
exploit, and the other will exploit me! Otherwise, I will try to dominate and
the other will try to dominate me. And it will not be a relationship, it cannot
be love, it will be subtle politics.”
Our marriage is a subtle politics of domination. Our
fatherhood, motherhood, is a subtle politics. Look at mothers, just simply
watch! - and we will feel they are trying to dominate their small children.
Their aggression, their anger, is thrown on them - they have become objects of
catharsis, and by this they are already burdened. They will move in life
carrying mountains from the very beginning, and they will never know that life
is possible without carrying such loaded heads; and they will never know the
freedom that comes with an unloaded being. They will never know that when one
is not loaded one has wings and one can fly into the sky and into the unknown.
God is available only when we are unburdened.
But they will never know. They will knock at the doors of temples, but they
will never know where the real temple exists. The real temple is freedom: dying
moment to moment into the past and living in the present. And freedom to move,
to move into the dark, into the unknown — that is the door to the divine!
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