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Balance in the midst of Tragedy
The day before
yesterday we lost a very dear friend and relative to a sudden heart attack – a person
so full of the joy of life, extremely loving son, brother, father, friend,
mentor and boss – a person who made people laugh and had the ability to laugh
at himself too! Too young to depart with so much yet left to do in life – a huge
vacuum has been left which will be well-nigh impossible to fill.
We hear of such tragedies
from other people, but when it hits our home, we truly realise the impact this
can have on the psyche of those who are both directly and indirectly affected.
The number of people who genuinely loved him and came to bade him their final
goodbye was unbelievable, the number of youngsters who were broken-hearted and
weeping uncontrollably was a testimony of him being a great boss and mentor at
work. The family was trying its best to maintain composure in between tearful
breakdowns as some new person came to offer their condolences!
The question always is
how to maintain one’s composure in the midst of such a huge tragedy – how does
one understand the snatching away of a life out of the blue? It is beyond
comprehension and enforces the saying that death when it comes does so
unannounced. No one teaches us to face such tragedies and I guess that is why
life is said to be the best university to get one’s lessons!
Remembrance and affirmation center around the
Truth that we are spiritual beings, living in a spiritual universe, governed by
spiritual laws. As Teilhard de Chardin famously said, “We are
spiritual beings having a human experience,” and not the other way around. Our divine essence speaks
to our inherent oneness with God and with each other and reminds us that the
only limitations we have are the ones we choose to place upon ourselves.
After accepting this, we need to understand how to cope with
tragedy and help others also cope with theirs. There are three spiritual
friends who are of great help – laughter, gratitude and balance.
We don’t laugh away our problems or make light
of tragic situations. Rather we utilise the lightening effect that laughter
brings in releasing tension and affirming our common humanity. Some
subjects are too serious to be taken seriously, as they say. Laughing at
ourselves and at the human condition in appropriate ways is healthy and opens
us up to further investigation of what is really going on. It also inspires
compassion.
Another friend is gratitude. No matter what,
our messages and prayers affirm that there is so much to be thankful for in our
lives. Being thankful for the good heartedness of the majority of humanity and
for simple things like food on our tables are ways to connect us
back to sanity and normalcy when we are so often confronted with life’s
tragedies.
The spiritual path is like a razor’s edge. All
speak to the gift of balance and centeredness, coming to a peace
and an equanimity in the midst of extremes. The ability that balance gives
us is our third spiritual friend. This balance comes from regular meditation
and mindfulness practice – living life in the now and watching the good and the
bad in life as a witness and not as a participant!
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