Sacrifice
Unless we sincerely and with full dedication
follow our desire towards blissfulness, whatever we do will be wrong. Never
sacrifice bliss for anything else, because if we sacrifice our bliss, our peace
of mind for anything, we will always be miserable and we will never be able to
forgive.
The people who sacrifice something for the ‘benefit’
of others become heavy on others, they weigh on others’ conscience because they
have sacrificed. And subconsciously such people expect others to sacrifice
their joy in return. That’s why parents who sacrifice are the most dangerous
parents in the world. The worst impact on the psyche of children happens
through sacrificing parents, who keep reminding them of their sacrifice all
through life. Such parents are good people, but the sacrifice preys on their
psyche, they think of all the possibilities in life which they had to forego
for their children, and then in return expect their children also to sacrifice
in return.
And the children have to live their lives – they
have to seek and search their ways. They have to find their God, wherever it
is. They cannot borrow our God, they cannot borrow our bliss. They cannot sing our
song; they have their own song to sing. But up to now, down the ages, all over
the world, this has been the pattern: parents sacrifice for the children – they
remain unhappy; then they force the children to sacrifice, then the children
are unhappy… and it goes on and on. Unhappy children will again beget unhappy
children. They will say, “We have sacrificed for our parents – now, you
sacrifice for us.” We learn from others: if we sacrifice for our child, the
child is learning one thing from us – that he has to sacrifice for his
children. This is a vicious circle that the whole humanity is caught in. That’s
why there is so much misery, so much mental stress.
This vicious circle can be broken with a simple
understanding – when we have to do something that makes us sad, but if
ultimately it is going to give us bliss, then we have to do it, regardless of
the current feeling of sadness. And in the long run no one loses because of it.
If we are happy, we pass on the same love energy to our children, we become
more loving towards them, regardless of the hardship we face; the children see
this and carry the same attitude in life going forward. Happiness in the family
becomes mutual – we are loving towards our children and that love is
reciprocated.
When we leave everything and go towards our inner
calling, we free our children to do the same as and when their time comes. We
make them independent; we are showing them the path to their soul.
On the surface it looks very selfish, the really
selfish people are the only altruistic people in the world. They don’t
sacrifice; they don’t force anybody else to sacrifice. They live in joy and
they create ripples of joy for others too. And we know – life is complicated:
if we do one thing, we have to leave something else. And one has always to
choose – one cannot have all the things. But always remember - whatever feels more blissful , choose it, whatsoever the cost.
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