Afraid of Losing Control

 

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Afraid of Losing Control

Sometimes we feel that we are reluctant to do whatever needs to be done. Our mind weighs down upon us – we may be afraid to do it, we may be in two minds, there could be any number of excuses. When we are in doubt it usually means that we are afraid of losing control, we are afraid to commit to ourselves. We go up to a point and then stop, because we feel going further could be dangerous!

We may not be able to come back again, we may be going beyond the point of no return. A part must be fear – fear is very, very basic, just like love. Love and fear are the two very basic things in human existence, and both are diametrically opposite polarities. If fear is more, love is less and vice versa. If we let go of fear, we are filled with love – it is the same energy. When that energy is negative, it is fear.

When it is positive, it is love. If we love, we will abandon ourselves; we will go to the furthest point possible. We don’t bother then about control or controlling. We are streaming, flowing. We are liquid and we can melt with the surroundings. We are not afraid to melt. We are not afraid of life, nor afraid of death. We love. We love life, we love death. We love whatever happens and there is no reluctance.

It is not that we go only to a certain point. Now we go the whole way. We go so far that we disappear. And that’s how abundant life happens. So, there must be fear, otherwise why should one be reluctant? And if we are reluctant in one thing, we will be reluctant in all things. In fact, if happiness comes, we will be reluctant to allow it. We will allow it only up to a certain point, just so far, and then we will stop and close ourselves, because if happiness is too much, we are no more there. We will not allow laughter. We will not allow crying and weeping. We will not allow anything!  A certain inner mechanism clicks and we stop, we close. Life happens only when we have forgotten how to control. Controlled people are dead people. They control everything – not only of the mind but also of the body.

We must not be breathing as totally as we should breathe, because here also control comes in. So, start by breathing. It is always good to start with the body. The work is easier because it is with the gross. The body is more visible and we can feel it easily. Then we will start working with the mind. Whenever we remember, take a deep breath. Never start by inhaling; start by exhaling. Exhalation is going into the world. We breathe out… we pour ourselves into the world. Then we breathe in; the world enters us.

This is a beautiful dialogue with the world. Breathing is a miracle. The world comes into us continuously and we go into the world. It is a continuous love making with the world. The vitality flows in us and then we pour the vitality back into the world - here, there is no fear of losing control.