Samarpan and my First Spiritual Experience
It was the month of October 2008. My long-time friend and client,
Deepak, asked if I still remembered our common friend, Ramnath. We three had
worked together in a professional accounting and auditing firm. Of course, I did, I replied. The
following Saturday, they both came to my office to catch up on old times.
Additionally, Ramnath was keen on sharing something that had fascinated him a
lot. Although I instinctively knew this was different from all that I had heard
or experienced before, little did I know then that our meeting would be the
beginning of the journey of my ultimate goal - liberation.
As Ramnath started sharing about His Holiness Shivkrupanand Swamiji and
Samarpan Meditation, I found myself more and more engrossed in his monologue.
It was as if my soul had finally found what it had always been seeking.
At one point, I thought a part of the conversation was particularly
targeted at me. I distinctly remember asking him if that was so. Ramnath looked
at me, smiled and continued sharing about Swamiji.
Ramnath’s talk was mesmerising. We didn’t realise where three hours had
just flown by. He gave Deepak and me an audio CD of the Mahashibir (a
discourse) held in Surat in 2006, and a booklet on Samarpan Meditation.
Have you noticed how our intellectual mind is quick to relegate
something that’s not logical and incomprehensible? Although I loved every bit
of Ramnath’s talk, when I reached home, I kept the booklet and CD next to the
television set and got on with life.
It was as if my logical mind ordered my subconscious to ignore the
excitement I’d felt while listening to Ramnath’s talks and concentrate on the
practicality of living.
Two months had passed by. One day in December, when I came home early,
my eyes fell on the CD. I remembered Ramnath’s enchanting talk and all those
feelings I’d felt while listening to him, came gushing to the fore. My soul was
calling out to experience that euphoria again.
The setting was ideal. My wife and daughters were away. My mother was
busy with what she was doing, and no one was expected to drop by. I had the
time and luxury of being alone to dive into this experience. So, I dived in
head-on.
As soon as I heard Swamiji’s voice, my body had a mind of its own.
Almost as a reflex action, I got off the sofa and sat on the ground with my
legs crossed (Padmasana). My eyes shut; I was lost in the wilderness of
nothingness.
I could hear Swamiji’s voice in the background for some time and then I
was lost in some kind of trance. I opened my eyes only after the CD stopped
playing. Phew! What was that?! It was a surreal experience. How could it be
this exhilarating and calming at the same time? How could it be paradoxical? I
had no clue. I didn’t try to solve that enigma either.
Intoxicated in the energies of Swamiji’s aura and speech, I decided to
repeat the experience. I came home early the following day to listen to the
recording of the second day of that discourse. Voila, I had a similar
experience! That of complete relaxation and lightness of body. It was as if the
entire universe was enveloped in a transparent and fragile bubble. I was out of
it, observing the happenings without being judgmental about anything at
all.
On the third day, I wasn’t as lucky as the day before. After merely
twenty minutes, the doorbell rang and in walked my wife and daughters. On
hearing the sound of the discourse, my wife asked in a sharp tone of voice,
“What is this?” I was dismissive and hurriedly switched off the CD player. The
connection got lost again for the next two months.
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