Allow Spontaneity
Allow Spontaneity
Never think about yourself in any way which
condemns. One has to learn to respect oneself; that is the beginning of a great
change. We have been taught to condemn, to despise, to hate. We have been told
to love others but we have not been told to love ourselves, so we do not have a
good image of ourselves. And without a good image of ourself, we will never be
able to know who we are.
One chooses not to look at oneself if one is
condemned as a sinner. One can enter into oneself only when one feels that one
is going into something beautiful. The beginning of love is to love oneself.
The beginning of God is to think of oneself as divine. Nobody is a sinner, but
if one believes that he / she is a sinner, then one remains a sinner; it is
only a question of belief.
Become swayambhu – swayam meaning
self, bhu meaning existence – so, self-existent. There are things which
are not self-existent; they depend on others’ existence. For example, water is
not self-existent, it depends on hydrogen and oxygen; it is a combination. If
hydrogen and oxygen disappear from existence, water will disappear. It is a
secondary phenomenon, not primary.
Consciousness is a primary phenomenon. It is not a
combination of anything else; it is itself. That is the meaning of swayambhu.
One cannot disappear from existence. There is no way to destroy us; no death
can kill us; no poison can touch us. The innermost core of our being is
eternal. It has been always and it will be always. And it cannot be destroyed
because it is not a composition, it cannot be destroyed because it is not
caused by anything else.
Right
awareness comes with living consciously. Awareness can also be wrong. It is
wrong when it is cultivated, practised, forced, somehow managed by effort. Then
it is wrong. It creates a tension in our being; rather than relaxing us it
makes us more tense, it creates stress.
Awareness is right when
it is spontaneous, when it is not forced, when it arises not out of effort but
out of understanding. Don’t practise it; a practised thing is always false. And
when we start practising something we close the doors for the spontaneous; then
the spontaneous cannot happen. We become so full of the practised that our very
practice hinders it.
Whenever we live anything
intensely there arises a kind of awareness which is totally different from the
practised one. If one is running, then that is done intensely with complete
focus, one will find a floating awareness around us. We need not make it, it is
there. We are looking at a sunset: we are thrilled and we come to a peak of
experience; suddenly there is awareness. It is always there when the peak
comes.
Just as at the peak it is
always sunlit and the darkness disappears, so at any peak moment one is aware,
and that awareness arises on its own accord. So, live life intensely, totally;
live life at the optimum. Put oneself utterly into each and everything that
one does; do not hold back.
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