Samarpan and my First Spiritual Experience

 

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Samarpan and my First Spiritual Experience

It was the month of October 2008. My long-time friend and client, Deepak, asked if I still remembered our common friend, Ramnath. We three had worked together in a professional accounting and auditing firm. Of course, I did, I replied. The following Saturday, they both came to my office to catch up on old times. Additionally, Ramnath was keen on sharing something that had fascinated him a lot. Although I instinctively knew this was different from all that I had heard or experienced before, little did I know then that our meeting would be the beginning of the journey of my ultimate goal - liberation. 

As Ramnath started sharing about His Holiness Shivkrupanand Swamiji and Samarpan Meditation, I found myself more and more engrossed in his monologue. It was as if my soul had finally found what it had always been seeking. 

At one point, I thought a part of the conversation was particularly targeted at me. I distinctly remember asking him if that was so. Ramnath looked at me, smiled and continued sharing about Swamiji. 

Ramnath’s talk was mesmerising. We didn’t realise where three hours had just flown by. He gave Deepak and me an audio CD of the Mahashibir (a discourse) held in Surat in 2006, and a booklet on Samarpan Meditation. 

Have you noticed how our intellectual mind is quick to relegate something that’s not logical and incomprehensible? Although I loved every bit of Ramnath’s talk, when I reached home, I kept the booklet and CD next to the television set and got on with life. 

It was as if my logical mind ordered my subconscious to ignore the excitement I’d felt while listening to Ramnath’s talks and concentrate on the practicality of living.  

Two months had passed by. One day in December, when I came home early, my eyes fell on the CD. I remembered Ramnath’s enchanting talk and all those feelings I’d felt while listening to him, came gushing to the fore. My soul was calling out to experience that euphoria again. 

The setting was ideal. My wife and daughters were away. My mother was busy with what she was doing, and no one was expected to drop by. I had the time and luxury of being alone to dive into this experience. So, I dived in head-on.

As soon as I heard Swamiji’s voice, my body had a mind of its own. Almost as a reflex action, I got off the sofa and sat on the ground with my legs crossed (Padmasana). My eyes shut; I was lost in the wilderness of nothingness. 

I could hear Swamiji’s voice in the background for some time and then I was lost in some kind of trance. I opened my eyes only after the CD stopped playing. Phew! What was that?! It was a surreal experience. How could it be this exhilarating and calming at the same time? How could it be paradoxical? I had no clue. I didn’t try to solve that enigma either.

Intoxicated in the energies of Swamiji’s aura and speech, I decided to repeat the experience. I came home early the following day to listen to the recording of the second day of that discourse. Voila, I had a similar experience! That of complete relaxation and lightness of body. It was as if the entire universe was enveloped in a transparent and fragile bubble. I was out of it, observing the happenings without being judgmental about anything at all. 

On the third day, I wasn’t as lucky as the day before. After merely twenty minutes, the doorbell rang and in walked my wife and daughters. On hearing the sound of the discourse, my wife asked in a sharp tone of voice, “What is this?” I was dismissive and hurriedly switched off the CD player. The connection got lost again for the next two months.